e-shop shit is on sale so I gave in to the need for a second acnl town like the NEET trash I am.
thejunglenook has mono, please tag her when reblogging pictures of dogs or non-human primates <3
fact: shih tzus are one of the least intelligent dog breeds, and can be easily trapped by invisible soda force fields
what the f*** is cotton candy
why would you call it cotton?
It’s food. Not some material.
No, you are all wrong. It is called candy floss.
The French call it “ barbe à papa” - which means “Daddy’s beard”
okay so what i have learned from this post is that other countries are really f***ing weird
arabs call it “shar al banat” which means girls hair.
in india we call it “buddi ka baal” which means old lady’s hair so yeah
In Italy we call it “Zucchero Filato” which can be translated as “spunned sugar” like worked in filaments, which in the end is how is done. Y’all need jesus.
do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared
All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.
This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.
This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:
Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.
Dude Michelangelo was a BAMF who gave zero fucks
This is fantastic!! :D
Also, when I say “reformer”, I just mean he didn’t agree with the Church hierarchy and it’s dogma, not that he was a Lutheran or anything. In ref to the history of the period, “protestant” and “reformer” are rather general terms covering a wide variety of different religious non-conformists, including(though this didn’t apply to Mich) atheists, since Christian writers of all types consistently refused to acknowledge coherent non-belief even existed for centuries(and plenty of Christians, of course, continue this delusion in modern times, as ridiculous as that is), and often lumped them in with genuinely Christian “heretics” and “apostates”.
This may have been one big reason why he felt like he needed to take Vatican jobs; many of his co-religionists and correspondents had already been “suppressed”, and the Spirituali weren’t really all that clandestine in the first place(they even ran a candidate for Pope. Once (:( ), meaning the hierarchy of the day knew of his views. They may have used the threat of similar treatment(I’m talking about public humiliation, torture, imprisonment, dispossession, and public execution here) to induce him to take jobs he’d have preferred to reject. He certainly managed to find clever ways to stick it to those bastards after the fact though, didn’t he :)
legit Michelangelo tried to flee the Vatican and the Pope sent guys to bring him back.
Started out my morning by adopting Katt, already better than yesterday. Headache starting to come back again despite ~15 hours of sleep. Gonna go see if I can take care of that.
IS THAT A GIF IN A GIF IN A GIF
the southern US genuinely scares me like my map of ‘states i will willingly go to for college’ looks more or less like
if you’re coming to the us this is a good travel guide fyi <3
thats pretty ignorant tbh
so are the racist and prejudiced people who live in those areas
As a native Texan, I completely agree with this map.
Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.
Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.
So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.
So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).
Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”
This is the best usage of that gif I have ever seen.
We were at my grandparents’ house for Easter today, and my brother brought along the Nintendo Wii for our cousins to play
Only he forgot the sensor bar :T the thing that makes the wii-motes work and junk
Then he remembered this crazy myth he heard basically said if you light two candles, they act as a sensor bar.
I DON’T KNOW HOW
BUT IT TURNS OUT IT FUCKING WORKS.
So if you ever lose or break the sensor bar, and don’t mind your TV looking like an offering to Satan, I recommend candles :I
I’ll remember that for the next time my sensor bar stuffs up…
This also works with flashlights, in case you don’t have any candles handy. c:
The “sensor” bar doesn’t actually have any sensors. The sensors are in the Wii-mote. The sensor bar is actually just a line of infrared LEDs that an IR camera in the Wii-mote can see, which means you can substitute other IR sources, like candles and flashlights.
Science, hail Satan.
Eridan unnerves me because he’s basically the embodiment of toxic wealthy white masculinity and basically he’s the kind of person I have to be afraid of.
"Dear diary… Today a pretty lady asked me if I liked to dance, but I managed to play it cool and say no. This has been yet another successful interaction with a member of the fairer sex… I think it’s safe to say that I am an expert at ladies now. - Darcy”